The other day as I walked around the lakes close to my home, I noticed a fifteen or sixteen-year-old boy fishing. He glanced in my direction and smiled. “Good morning,” I greeted.

His smile broadened, and he replied, “Morning.” A JOYous thought entered my mind–there is hope for the future.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to let a few teen delinquents sour my opinion of the youth of today. Life is different from ten, twenty, and thirty years ago; however, even then society came face-to-face with punks and juvenile delinquents. Thinking back to the time when we raised our children, I believe a few basics helped their generation turn into influential adults.

Don and I were not perfect parents, but we did the best we could with our resources. Looking back, I wish I’d been more attentive. I should have spent more time sitting in the stands when they played sports. If I had it to do again, I wouldn’t have been a workaholic.

We raised our four children in a strict household. They asked before they left the house. When the streetlights turned on, they came inside. Most of the time, we knew who they were with and where they plopped their backsides. I’m sure they pulled a few over on us. For the most part, however, our kids obliged and came home at the time expected. If they couldn’t get back by curfew, they called.

Would you believe they helped around the house? Once a week I assigned a daily household chore to each child. On the weekend, they helped me clean. My kids also did their own laundry. I didn’t realize at the time, but my need for help began to mold them into responsible adults.

Once a year, the six of us took a family vacation. We loaded the van with camping gear, food, clothes, the dog, and whatever else we thought we needed. These trips became the center of our year. Work, school, friends, and obligations forgotten, we spent quality time together and depended on one another. Every day of our family time included laughter, play, meals, exploration, fishing, and tubs of red licorice and gummy bears.

To this day, our grown children take their families on summer vacations. They continue to have fond memories of our summer camping trips. Some even include the gummy bears on their vacations.

I have learned through the years, our children want to know they matter. They thrive when we listen to their words—and read between the lines. The old-fashioned parenting method of seeing children but not hearing them needs to remain in the past. When one of my grandchildren tells me a long-winded story, I find myself captivated by his or her excitement. When I take the time to listen and respond, they know I care, and I find JOY in the experience.

For those parents who aren’t sure your teens ‘get it’, I have hope in the potential of the youth of today. If they feel loved and cared for and bond with an influential adult, their chances of becoming outstanding citizens increase. When they learn to care about others more than themselves, they have what it takes. The youth of today can grow up and make a difference in the world around them.

~~

While on a visit to Yosemite National Park, my husband and I enJOYed breakfast at a cafeteria in the heart of the park. Before we left to sightsee, I headed to the bathroom. A pre-teen opened the door and started to leave the bathroom. She held the door open and let me pass. I thanked her and with a smile, she politely said, “You’re welcome.”

Before I left the bathroom, the girl’s mother entered. She and I chatted for a brief time, and I commended her for a job well done. It pleased her to hear of her daughter’s politeness. She told me her grandfather brought her to Yosemite when she was a child. The time he spent with her during their family vacation must have left an imprint on her heart. She and her husband followed suit and brought their children to the park to make forever memories of JOY.

Although some teens have little or no manners or concern for others, there are those who make my heart sing. I don’t want the shenanigans of a few youth to make me lose faith and hope for tomorrow.

May you find JOY from the teens in your life as you show them how to be influential people who make positive differences today and in the future.

This week, I’m sharing a blog written by Hope Dunlap. She writes about Justine Galloway’s incredible ‘backward’ journey. I met Justine through my nephew. Her self-discipline and dedication inspire me. EnJOY.

Go, Justine Go!_ Running with Dystonia (and Breaking a Record!) _ TOVIFIT

If you cannot see Hope’s full blog (including a video of Justine) in the above link, click on ‘skip to content’ at the top left corner or try this link:  http://blog.tovifit.com/2015/06/12/go-justine-go-running-with-dystonia-and-breaking-a-record/

Thank you, Hope, for your inspirational blog. Congratulations, Justine, on breaking the world record. What a JOYous occasion. We’re proud of you.

~~

I am encouraged by people who go after the desires of their heart. They remind me that we have a choice in life. Yes, some people have more than others have—better job, higher income, larger house, nicer car, college education. However, each person has unique qualities, personal dreams, the ability to hope, and desire for JOY in life.

Inside each of us are many elements—body, mind, personality, spirit …… I would venture to say that within each human being, the various attributes are not equal. Most of us have at least one area that shines brighter than the other areas.

Perhaps we need to discover and cultivate the JOYful part of us that shines—dig deep and find our sunniest element. When we find our area of strength, I am confident we will see the strong area links to a passion within.

So how do we reach our dreams?

I believe the Justines in life prepare physically. They run toward the goal often and practice daily. They prepare their body, mind, and spirit for the win. They do not let up until the end.

I bet they plan intellectually. They need to determine how long it will take to build up stamina, strength, and the distance required to win their personal race—and stick to the plan.

I imagine they use time management skills to plan their days prior to the quest. Most likely, they set their schedule in stone and run every day toward their goal.

Some might have a mentor, someone to support and believe in him or her. Perhaps they believe enough in themselves to run the race that leads to their passionate dream. They step out in faith and set the win in motion. They do everything in their power to complete the plan, achieve the goal, and reach the dream.

These people have a commonality. Their hopes and dreams emerge and with faith, passion, dedication, and self-discipline, they set a plan in motion and never stop until the JOY of their dreams come true.

If they don’t succeed at first, at least they moved closer to the win. With motivation, commitment, and perseverance, they continue the path to victory.

All I have mentioned takes work. Is it worth it? You tell me. How important is your dream?

May we always reach for our dreams with commitment, discipline, and perseverance and find the JOY that waits at the finish line.

The other day, my eighteen-year-old granddaughter and her younger sister stopped by my house. She wanted to try on her prom dress, which hangs in the guest room closet waiting for the special night.

She put on the black and gold dress, and could not take her eyes from the image in the mirror. JOY filled her young face when it dawned on her in less than a week, she would wear her new dress to the gala event. Her contagious excitement moved through the room and nothing could take my smile away.

She brought two pairs of heels to try on with the dress. I took one look at them and made my way to my walk-in closet. A month ago, I cleaned out the closet, including shoes I would never wear again. I drove the bags to the nearest charity and dropped them off—except for one pair of strappy high heels in black satin.

They happened to be my favorite, and the memories of the night I wore them lived on in my mind. I worked an entire year in cosmetic sales to reach a goal. When I waltzed on stage in the dress of my dreams to receive my prize, the strappy heels promenaded with me. Although I would never again place the shoes on my feet, I couldn’t bear to give them away. I put the box high on the shelf and forgot about them.

As I returned to the guest room, I heard the teen’s giggles. I stopped in the hallway and listened to the JOYous sound of my granddaughters, positive they had no clue how much happiness they brought by their visit. With a grin, I tapped on the door and entered the room, shoebox in hand.

I told her I had the perfect heels for her dress. Before I opened the box, I shared the story about the shoes and let her know she could use them. I took off the lid. My granddaughter’s eyes brightened, and she scooped the sandals from the box and slipped her feet into the straps.

A Cinderella type JOY filled the room. The stylish shoes peeked out from the slit in the skirt and complimented the dress. She chattered with her sister about a burgundy floral corsage and wrap she wanted to wear over the dress. They decided she needed jewelry with sparkles and sheen for her ears and neck. She talked about burgundy nail polish to match her corsage. For a brief moment, I believe the girls forgot I stood in the room. Their enthusiasm gave me such JOY. I waited for the right time to tell my granddaughter the shoes belonged to her now.

She hugged and thanked me, and I left the room while she changed back into her shorts, tee shirt, and flip-flops, leaving the dress and high heels behind until the prom.

Both of the girls embraced me as they walked out the door. The older granddaughter smiled JOYfully, gave me a tender hug, and thanked me with a sincerity that showed how much she appreciates me. She leaves for college in August, and when I need her close to my heart, I’ll reflect on the day my favorite shoes found a new home.

~~

Most of us experience blessings from other people now and then. I hope we give JOY, as well.

Human beings need to feel significant. We thrive when others appreciate us—and I don’t mean just when we give tangible gifts. We can be grateful when a loved one spends quality time with us, too.

I hope the memories my granddaughter makes on prom night bring her a lifetime of JOYful reminiscing. Perhaps the strappy high heels in black satin will promenade into another’s life one day in the future. Only time will tell.

May you be JOYfully blessed with quality time, gratitude, and appreciation from others and find ways to pass the blessings on to those around you.

A friend of mine has the license plate ‘GGR8FUL’ on her Cadillac. She takes nothing for granted. She is full of JOY and grateful for every aspect of her life.

One day, when she stepped out of her car at a fancy restaurant, the excited young valet asked, “Wow, you’re part of the Grateful Dead? Can I have your autograph?” Tickled pink, she signed ‘G D’ on her business card and handed it to the smiling valet. “Thanks,” he said as he looked at the scribbled initials on the back of the card.

At times, gratefulness seems like a lost art to me. From as far back as I can remember, our parents raised us to be polite to others and thankful. We worked for our allowance, sometimes doing more than our share. We studied hard for our grades in school. We learned how to act like decent human beings when out in public.

Lately, I have noticed people in restaurants and stores acting as if they deserve good service from the waiter, waitress, or store clerk. Some children and teens seem to think their parents owe them something. Many married couples take each other for granted.

Is saying ‘thank you’ so difficult? Would it hurt us to smile warmly at the people around us? Why do some people have trouble appreciating those who love, pamper, and support them?

This morning, we took the two youngest granddaughters to a build-a-bear hour at the resort where we are staying. The two-year-old chose a beautiful white kitty and the five-year-old selected a husky puppy. We stood in line for their newfound friends to receive wishes and stuffing. I marveled at the JOY plastered on my precious grand’s faces.

A boy about seven finished building his tiger, and I watched as he hugged the stuffed animal, peered up at his mom, and said, “Thank you.” His sweet smile and genuine words melted my heart; her expression was priceless. She took the boy in her arms. I believe the boy was thankful for the stuffed animal, and I imagined gratefulness filled his mother’s heart not only at his sweet nature, but at the pleasure she could give him.

As I waited to see if my grandchildren would say thank you, I began to think of what I’m grateful for in my life. The usual popped into my mind—husband, children, grandchildren, a roof over my head, health. I pondered if my manners might leave a little to be desired at times. Do I show my loved ones, friends, and other people I meet along the way, my gratefulness for them?

I remembered a time in my life when sadness made it difficult for a thankful spirit or JOY. I reached into my tote bag and pulled out my Gratitude Journal. When I opened the book, a smile erupted from my face.

More than twenty years ago, after a time of contemplation and sadness, I began my journal. At first, because of my clouded mind, I wrote down precious memories from the past. However, I soon developed the habit of writing everything I’m grateful for as JOYful events happened.

If gloom or bitterness strikes, the journal holds the key to unlocking my mood. Whenever I experience a bad day and need a pick-me-up, I open the book at random and read about the JOYous times in my life—times of gratitude.

I believe God created us for happiness, but we sometimes lose our way. It’s not feasible to think we can be happy all of the time. However, we need to take control of our unhappiness and turn it around. No one else can turn our frowns upside down. We are in charge of putting JOY in our hearts.

~~

Do we take our lives for granted, or are we grateful for where we are in life? Do we wallow in continued sadness and unhappy lives? How can we pull ourselves back to the JOYful times?

Gratitude Journals are one tool that can put life back into perspective for us.

Here are some of the gentle reminders in my Gratitude Journal—proof of the JOY I have experienced in my life. As I look through the book, I realize I have experienced much more JOY than sadness. I am truly blessed.

I am grateful for………

God – my life and the awesome world I live in

Birth – my children and grandchildren; the JOY they bring me every time I see them

Time alone – the quiet times I can pray, sort my thoughts, and write

Nature – a great country where I can explore and seek its beauty

Flowers – the sweet fragrance and colorful petals, and the bees and hummingbirds as they travel from flower to flower

Smiles and laughter – their contagiousness that turns even the sourest mood around

Color – that my eyes can see the myriad of colors around me and help me choose beautiful materials for my quilts

Food and water – the food that keeps me alive and unending water that quenches my thirst; some people have very little and I take the ability to eat and drink for granted at times

My mother – her health and energy; the time we spend together

Walks – the use of my legs and feet while I enJOY the outdoors

Sounds around me – the waterfall and pond in my back yard and birdsong

Friends – my forever friends and new friends I meet as I travel through my life

I have a choice in the matter of gratitude—I can take life and the things that transpire in my life for granted, or I can be thankful for the goodness and JOY in each day. No one else can make me happy or force me to be grateful.

At times, I may need to dig deep inside and fight my way back to JOY and happiness. When I open my Gratitude Journal, I experience thankfulness and remember what it feels like to be full of JOY. I once again encounter life with gratitude, contentment, and a happy heart.

May you find new things to be grateful for today, my friend, and fill your heart with JOY.

Nurtures             Loves Unconditionally       Gives          Accepts             Encourages

Supports              Feeds Us             Plays              Sets an Example

Reassures      Helps      Inspires        Prays       Comforts

Gives Hope     Is our Hero    Teaches    Believes

Hugs and Kisses          Always there

Gave Us Life

Mother’s Day is just around the corner, and many will give tribute to their mom. Most of you will honor the woman who brought you into this world—the woman who raised and loved you. Some of you aren’t able to give tribute to your birth mom due to a disagreement, death, or because you never met her. But Mother’s Day is still a day of celebrated JOY.

Even though each one of us is different from the next person, everyone came into this world the same way. A woman nurtured you for nine months and gave birth to you. For some of you, however, your mom gave her precious package to someone else to cherish and rear—a father, stepmother, aunt, grandmother, sibling, or adopted parent. We may have entered the world the same way, but each birth story and life after birth varies from person to person.

One thing I know for sure, however, is without the woman who carried and nurtured you inside her body, you would not be here. For that reason, I celebrate and thank your mom, no matter what has transpired since your birth.

As I have grown older, I realize my mother did the best she could with what she had to work with. I don’t say these words lightly. Her path was not always an easy one. But I know she loved us and we were her life. She took the job of being a mother to heart. She put herself aside and nurtured us into adulthood.

When my stepmom came into my life, my mother shared me with her. I cannot thank my mom enough for allowing me to experience my other mom. Both women taught me lessons in life and loved me unconditionally. I am blessed.

Your mother may have played an important part in who you are today. Perhaps your grandmother nurtured you to the person you’ve become. Maybe your mother-in-law taught you unselfishness. Aunts make wonderful mothers of the heart.  An older sister shows her sibling much about life.  An adoptive mother loves with all of her heart.

~~

On this upcoming Mother’s Day, no matter whom you call Mom, reach out to the women who have made a difference in your life. Send cards, emails, or text messages. Honor the special women on your Facebook page. Call these women and tell each of them how much she means to you and how thankful you are for her involvement in your life. If you can visit your Mom (or mom of the heart), take the time to hold her in your arms. Thank and love this special woman, and give a little piece of yourself to her.

No matter who you are, you are a miracle to your mom. No matter how old you are, as long as your mother is alive, she wants to endure hardships and difficulties for you. She prays and thinks good thoughts for you. Until the day that she dies, she will wish only good for her children. She is a unique person who gives of herself to others. A mother is a saint.

To my mom, stepmom, and aunts, thank you for your unconditional love and support. You taught me how to be a loving kind mother, and I cannot thank you enough.  I will never take you for granted. I will love you forever.

To my sisters and daughters (including my daughters of the heart), I marvel at the mothers you have become. You have been wonderful examples to your children. Thank you for giving me nieces, nephews, and grandchildren to love and nurture. I will always love you. You give me great JOY.

Fill your Mother’s Day with the JOY of loving others, my friend.

“God could not be everywhere,

and therefore he made mothers.”

Rudyard Kipling