The other day while on the phone with my elderly mother, I found myself irritated by her tone of voice. My initial reaction to her words left a little to be desired.  My instinct almost led me down the not-so-nice path. But, when I opened my mouth to reflect the annoyance of the moment, I stopped mid-word and took a deep breath.

Although I found it hard to turn my unkind thoughts into words of JOY, I forced myself to choose an alternative route. When I spoke, the words that left my mouth made a positive impact on our discussion. I didn’t want to blow the conversation out of proportion, so made a choice to neutralize the situation. I gave my mom a bit of JOY instead of strife.

I’m amazed at how a word or facial expression can irritate or frustrate, and turn us into crazy people. Our feathers ruffle when we hear certain words, tones, or connotations. The horns come out when the face of another person appears angry or disgusted. Our body-language changes at the blink of an eye when somebody upsets us. Our features transform into those of dreadful monsters and denote anger, frustration, and impatience. In a split second, something rubs us the wrong way, and we try to one-up the other person. We want to give them a little of their own medicine and a piece of our mind. A competition forms to see who can be nastier than the other.

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I’m sure you can relate. Human beings disagree with one another. Some would say a certain amount of conflict belongs in life. Granted, at times we need to step up to the plate and disagree with someone about a situation; even Jesus expressed anger.  How we act and communicate during these discussions has an impact; not just on us, but the other person as well. Every time we experience conflict, we have a choice of the direction we take.  We can snap like a turtle or be gentle as a dove. When someone gets our goat, what would happen if we expressed Godly words instead of those of discord?  The improvement in our little corner of the world would be incredible.

Maybe we should eliminate vocabulary that has the potential to manipulate, discourage, or anger another person. We could reject the use of words that cause hurt, insecurity, defeat, or resentment.  When we open our mouths to speak, perhaps we should lift up other people, not tear them down. We don’t intend to burden, sadden, or cause fear. I doubt any one of us feels good about ourselves when we take part in the destruction of another’s spirit.

We live in a beautiful world but imagine a magnificent and exquisite earth. Heartfelt words of love not only bless others but encourage, motivate, and inspire. Visualize a world of appreciation, happiness, and JOY.  We could even love the unlovable if we spoke merciful, kind words. Wouldn’t it be nice if we helped chip away the hardened edges of the diamonds-in-the-rough we meet along the way?

I’ll be the first to affirm it’s not always easy to be kind and loving. Trials, temptations, favoritism, and impatience surround us. But take a moment to envision a better habitat—one full of people who lift the spirits of others with forgiveness and thanks. Control of the tongue might be the first step towards a hopeful, peaceful planet. A JOYful, optimistic, and serene world would bless us indeed.

During my youth, my mother often said, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” Let’s build each other up with words of JOY, love, and appreciation. Respect goes a long way. With an intentional effort to change our actions and what comes out of our mouths, we can become better people.

Contemplate your words before you speak. If you need to count to ten, so be it. You will see a change in the people around you. Kind thoughts, words, and deeds can be contagious. A gentle demeanor will make a difference in an otherwise chaotic world.

Be JOYful and blessed in 2015, my friend, as you shower others with encouragement, loving words, and expressions of JOY.